holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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