You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
