dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
