Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
