problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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