Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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