About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
