Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
