Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
