how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
