Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
