I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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