He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
