I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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