yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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