So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
