after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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