she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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