And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
