she was so not down for the gang bang
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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