Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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