Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
