dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
