I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
