Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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