it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
