I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm really busy with my period
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