Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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