Me. At least after what I've been through.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this boner is exhausting
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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