How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
