I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
