so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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