Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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