I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
