your thong is hanging out like whoa
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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