my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
