Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
