Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
