Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
