like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
