Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
