Whod you bang
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
