He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
