It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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