Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
