Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
