i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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