Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
