You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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