can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
