I think I am morally bankrupt
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can I color on your dick again?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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