Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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