WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
