I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
