remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
