I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
